I never thought that I would be sad over the selling of a car by my boyfriend. It’s like the vessel of all the moments we spent together. It’s the car that he took me out the first time. It’s the car that I puked in for three times after he tried to get me to drink a cocktail after a tequila shot. It’s the car we had our first kiss in. It’s the car that got me to live with him for the first time. I still remember he put my luggages in the trunk that’s not that big but big enough for all my backpack and one big suitcase. I remember how shiny it usually is after he washes it.
There’s not always happy memories that it carries. Once we fought so hard and he left me in the car to drive home alone and he wanted to take a bus home. Then he became worried about whether if I can drive home alone and came back for me to drive me home. It’s hideous but it’s a big moment in our relationship. There are many fights that happened in the car as well as the many apologies entailed. It witnessed the ugly sides of ours and somehow imprinted in it.
I didn’t realize it’s gone until that women who bought the car went into it and try to figure out how to operate it. This is the moment that hits me the most. I know from now on that the person behind the steering wheel won’t be the man that I love so much. This car will never show up on the opposite side of the road where my school is to pick me up when I cook late on Wednesday. I won’t be able to practice driving in it anymore. It will witness another boy’s life story, his victory and loss but maybe not another vomit incident. It won’t be part of my life anymore. I knew I can’t watch the transition so I left the garage and came home to chew on the pain. It doesn’t make so much sense, but it’s part of my life story and the pain reminds me that I’m alive. The pain will be less. And I will know I can get over it.
Justlife 